Friday, October 9, 2009

Paying My Dues

I was supposed to go to the Farmer's Market today. I made my crunchy peanut butter and buckwheat honey sandwich. I limbered up for a day of stretching and hauling crates; punctuated by standing, talking and laughing. But the torrents of rain outside stopped me. The air temperature was just low enough to feel soggy. As I stood watching the sheets, Layla looked up at me waiting to see the day's direction. She's a puppy-- everything is just great with her.
Like so many times before, I made a choice. I weighed options and decided to stay home and make soap. And I mentally lectured myself not to torture myself and my family later with the wisdom of my choice.
Here's the rational I used to decide do I stay or do I go:
(Claudia's Voice of Rational Ego/Hell)- Hey, I PAID my dues all summer when it rained and dusted and oh yeah! how about two years ago when my tent blew over and all my soap was ruined, that might happen again... And --my van with the tempermental ignition coil probably won't start, cause it really hates dampness.
So I was thinking today while I made 16 pounds of White Tea and Ginger and 16 pounds of Toasted Coconut about... Obama.
Our young president was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize! This is the honor given to the individual who is beyond himself, who has transcended the ordinary in service to mankind.
It didn't take long for the talking heads to start channeling Morissey- "you just haven't earned it yet baby" The assumption being Obama hasn't put in seniority enough to deserve this prize. He hasn't suffered enough. More uppity? Or is it because he doesn't accept labels and limitations on himself. The trouble with seniority is it encourages the status quo. Protocol is stagnation. Do you have to have experiences to learn? I don't think so.
What is it about the shiny clean newcomer who hasn't got gravy stains on his tie that is annoying and makes us want to smack him down? When we feel small ourselves, we look at the world that way. Much better to be inspired, to integrate with the Hope-vibe Obama gives off.
Entitlement can take you only so far, then you have to think for yourself. Living in the moment-where the true power is (thanks homeboy Eckhart Tolle) When I mentally stack up all my past deeds and weigh them to decide today's action its like driving a car while looking in the rear view mirror. I love this metaphor cause it really shows the futility involved.
Oh, uh, speaking of motor vehicles... after a few hours of stirring, I could not stop myself from going out in the rain to see if the van turned over. It didn't. I was happy.

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Sugarloaf Herb Farm

Sugarloaf Herb Farm
Christy Matthewson Days